Secrets of New York’s real estate agents: ‘All apartments are basically four walls’

There’s a moment in nearly each hunt for an Add Crazy apartment – usually simply after the agent assures you the shoebox you’re looking at is “large area for the money!†– while you come to suspect the worker is reciting this from some sort of manual.

Nicely, suspect no more: they really are. The mum or dad has visible the training manual issued to new agents at a big apple actual estate dealer (way to it being, well, left in my condo) and it confirms nearly each suspicion you’ve ever said approximately the overly friendly man guiding you thru one in all the most important selections you may make. (The father or mother isn’t always naming the corporation, to keep its corporate blushes.)

The document covers everything from dress code – “You cannot climb the ladder of fulfillment dressed in the gown of failure†– to crafting advertisements, how to speak on the cellphone, sealing the deal, tackling those difficult questions from clients, or even when it’s permissible to take a consumer to bed. Allow’s take it little by little.

The adverts

If you’ve ever struggled to discover an actual one-mattress rental, rather than a studio, in any major town, you’ll realize that distinguishing the 2 in the on-line listings is a project. That’s now not a twist of fate – this organisation tells its new agents “for all studios commercials placed ‘One bed room’ within the container and then specify that condominium is a studio, or alcove within the name of body of the ad.â€

In any other case, the recommendation has a tendency closer to the kind of phrasing you only ever see in condo listings. Recommended phrases for brand new dealers include “that is an actual loft!!!†(in preference to what, exactly?); “real-size rooms†(identical question); “this is the only you [sic] searching out†(we’ll see) and “that is a tv apartmentâ€, observed by a picture of Monica’s condominium from friends. Can we find the money for it with a barista’s paycheck, though?

The relaxation of the advice to agents centers around making the big apple’s many, many studios sound even midway attractive. The two top terms: “This studio is greater than anybody-bedroom for this chargeâ€, and “This studio is an alcove – you could without difficulty put up a wallâ€.

Maybe the maximum exciting bit is the advised charge ranges for each location in ny – one of the most luxurious apartment markets in the US – suggesting what represents the low or high give up of the market in each location.

In case, you’re paying $1,900 to $2,three hundred for a West Village studio, as an example, you are at the low stop of the rate brackets – the excessive cease is $2,395 to $2,750. The price ceiling for a one-mattress in Soho or Tribeca, the guide suggests, is $3,500. similarly, north, that should get you a good deal extra – a -bed in the higher East facet should hire for $2,500 to $2,900 at the low stop, or $2,900 to $3,200 on the top stop. How’s your hire searching now?

The phone call

So, you’ve standard the inevitable and picked up the telephone to call a real property agent. The training files make it clean that he now has one goal and one goal best: get you into the workplace, where he can extract all the data (and finally the rate) he’s after.

Maximum of the file is income talk that should seem acquainted, from “we’ve got access to all the no-price residences in the city†to “that is the largest place I’ve seen for that priceâ€.

Other recommendations consist of “That landlord has the exceptional stuff. When could you like to peer it?â€, “i have now not seen that one, but all the agents are going loopy over it so I marketed it†and “Wow, what a coincidence – the keys just were given dropped off on the workplace!â€

Endure in mind, at this factor, that, of path, none of these residences definitely exist.

The killer line right here isn’t a suggested quote, however the mantra for the agent to maintain in his head (emphasis unique): “fear approximately THE condominium LATER … just GET THE clients INTO THE office.â€

The office

Right here is where the agents make their selections: are you critical? Can you manage to pay for an NYC apartment? Who to your relationship (assuming you’ve got one) makes the decisions?

After locating out the basics – wherein you live now, your income, if you have a guarantor – the agent has an entire bunch of other dreams. High on the list is coming across in case you’re married, as agents are cautioned to “never display a husband the condominium without his wife†or in case you’ve got pets “maximum landlords frown on puppies. Cats that have good credit score and don’t bark are typically permitted.â€

Sure, they made a shaggy dog story.

Extra vital is to “teach each patron on the big apple real estate marketâ€, which in most cases seems to include injecting an urgent worry that every apartment will disappear within 15 seconds of listing. Advised strains for agents closer to this intention consist of:

“college students have taken most of the to be had residences.â€
“For every super condo there are 5 to 10 human beings you are competing towards who want it!â€
“There are many certified applicants: medical doctors, lawyers, accountants, bankers…†(as though your parents kvetching which you didn’t turn out to be a doctor wasn’t horrific enough, now your actual estate agent does it too.)
And to each unmarried man or woman who’s been proven a rental way out of their charge range: sure, naturally, this is planned too: “suppose out of bounds; if their budget is $3,100, display an apartment for $three,500.â€

The final goal is to make you like them and set up a rapport. “Get the patron involved by way of asking them questions. As an example: ‘Do you like the solar?’ Of path, they will say sure. Who doesn’t like it?â€

See? Foolproof.

The viewing

No prizes for guessing the agent’s primary aim right here: he wishes you to hire the condo. However, the guide instructs, he’s were given a far higher hazard of doing this if he can get you back into the office, as at least five separate advised rates advise. If all else fails, and your temper is right, the agent is even recommended attempting the upbeat: “Isn’t this brilliant?! I suppose we must cross for it!!â€

Wait. He’s transferring in with me too, now?

The artwork of the actual property agent, although, lies inside the deeply professional advice for handling any misgivings you may have approximately a particular region – and the guide is full of advice on this.

If a client feels a condo is just too small, counseled replies encompass “All residences are essentially 4 partitionsâ€, “most of the people are not going to be domestic that a good deal first of all†and the profound and tautologous “a studio is a studio is a studioâ€.

If there’s now not enough light within the condo, properly, “a halogen lamp could brighten the region up in a hurryâ€. But “within the right scenario†agents are given any other option which can simply as effortlessly have come from the famous creep-relationship guidebook the game: “you can say to a man that his female friend’s eyes are so vibrant that they wouldn’t need any more mild. She would possibly get a kick out of it, and he’s going to know not disagree with you in front of her.â€




Student. Award-winning communicator. Subtly charming coffeeaholic. Organizer. Gamer. A real dynamo when it comes to managing jack-in-the-boxes for fun and profit. Spent the 80's donating shaving cream in Libya. Spent 2001-2004 lecturing about Roombas in Jacksonville, FL. Garnered an industry award while getting my feet wet with sheep in the government sector. My current pet project is working on Slinkies in Orlando, FL. Spent 2002-2009 developing strategies for crayon art for the underprivileged.